her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
