Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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