at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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