why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
