And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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