forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize