Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
