fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
