You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
