Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
