toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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