Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
