whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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