dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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