NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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