Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
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I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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