This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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