i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
