Can Purell be used as lube?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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