zippers are such a cool invention
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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