I can tuck mytits in my pants
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
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we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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