I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
