i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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