He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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