Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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