so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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