I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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