I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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