It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize