she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want her autograph on my taint
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
is that a dick in a sweater?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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