it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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