I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
