If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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