At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
