I must be too annoying 4 u.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
