whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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