You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
