I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
