I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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