I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
babies were throwing up all over the place
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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