I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im part way to drunk.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize