Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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