how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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