Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
