Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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