oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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