don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His hands were made for my vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
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Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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