I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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