I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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