New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
