i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
