Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
