this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
