Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
