me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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