Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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