Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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